


The (Almost) Lost Weekend

by txmedic37



Category: Castle
Genre: Boys Will Be Boys, Gen, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 20:59:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4152744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/txmedic37/pseuds/txmedic37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I issued a prompt to a fellow writer as a way to nudge us both out of our writer's block: The girls come back from a weekend spa retreat and find the loft in chaos.  What had the boys been up do while they were away?  This was my response.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The (Almost) Lost Weekend

An elevator moved slowly but smoothly up from the garage of a loft building in SoHo, carrying women spanning three different generations laughing and sharing favorite moments from their getaway. The spa weekend had been fun and relaxing, giving Kate Beckett a chance to spend a little girl time with her new family. Alexis Castle and Martha Rodgers chattered enthusiastically about the young man who had been their pool boy, as it were. Smiling at Alexis' assessment of the young man's “attributes”, Kate tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and decided this was definitely not a conversation she would be sharing with her new husband. As the elevator doors slid open and the three women stepped off, Kate wondered what Rick had been up to while he had the loft to himself.

Tilting her overnight suitcase back onto all four wheels, Beckett dug through her purse to find her keys. Smiling once more at something Martha said, the newly married detective turned the key in the lock and pushed open the door. As soon as all three ladies stepped into the loft, they let out a collective gasp of surprise. 

Taking in the chaos, Martha made a vague gesture with her bejeweled hand. “What in the hell?”

“Gram!” Alexis' automatic reproach died on her lips, as she also wondered if some sort of bomb had gone off while they were gone.

Leaving their bags by the door, the women wandered through the living room toward the kitchen. Food containers and empty liquor bottles of all shapes and sizes littered nearly every available surface. Looking into an open pizza box and seeing two slices of pizza with extra jalapenos, Kate narrowed her eyes in annoyance. She should have known.

“Rick! Espo, I know you're here! And if you're here, then Ryan is here.” Kate flipped on the kitchen light, waiting for signs of life. “Might as well come out and face the music, boys!”

Being the dutiful daughter that she was, Alexis simply rolled her eyes and opened the cabinet under the sink to get a trash bag. She started gathering up empty Chinese takeout containers with a sigh. “I should've known leaving Dad alone for the weekend was a bad idea.”

Lifting the half open lid of another pizza box, Martha shook her head in disgust. “Dear Lord, they put caviar on the pizza.”

The scrape of furniture on the wooden floor had all three spinning around to stare dumfounded at the piano. With a groan, Kevin Ryan pushed the stool back to give himself room to crawl out from under the baby grand and climb shakily to his feet. He stared at the three women with equal bewilderment. The Irish detective was as pale as a ghost, his face covered in a sheen of perspiration. He was wearing a pair of Castle's navy blue silk pajamas, his hands and feet covered by the soft material as the outfit hung on his much smaller frame. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed convulsively and Kate knew he was moments from vomiting.

Alexis shoved her phone back into her pocket after having snapped a quick photo to text to Kevin's wife, Jenny. She also recognized Kevin's impending crisis and snatched a plastic container off of the dining room table. The few bits of dough at the bottom identified the container as having been full of wonton soup at some point. 

Kevin gave a lurching lunge toward the plastic tub that Alexis held out to him, but the oversized pajamas betrayed him. His eyes widened in fear as his right foot caught the trailing pants cuff of his left leg. As all three women instinctively jumped forward to try to catch him, Kevin stuck out his hands to brace his fall. None of them were quick enough and the detective hit the wooden floor with a painful sounding thud.

Watching her junior detective roll to his side and curl up with a miserable groan, Kate took the wonton container from Alexis and set it on the floor. She gripped her partner's shoulder and forced him to uncurl enough for her to check the damage. She traced her finger over a red mark high on Kevin's left cheekbone and clicked her tongue softly. “Well, Ryan, that's going to leave a mark. What the hell happened?”

Her partner's face paled even more, which she wouldn't have thought possible, he braced himself on his left elbow and snatched up the soup container with a moan. All three women winced in sympathy as the young man suffered through a bought of dry heaves. Kate was a little concerned that all Kevin managed to bring up was clear saliva. He'd obviously been throwing up for a while.

Finished, Kevin let his hand uncurl from its death grip on the plastic tub and allowed himself to collapse on the floor to shiver miserably. This was a little out of Kate's league. She looked up at her mother-in-law and bit her lip worriedly. “Martha, can you get a bowl of water and a wash cloth?”

The elderly red-head nodded, frowning in concern for the ill young man on the floor. And for the two men they had yet to locate. “Certainly, Katherine. Why don't you two see if you can get Detective Ryan onto the sofa?”

Good idea. Narrowing her eyes at the traitorous pajama bottoms, Kate pursed her lips in determination. They wouldn't be having a repeat of Kevin's fall. Her junior partner had flopped over onto his back, covering his eyes from the brightness of the loft with his right forearm. Kate pulled the drawstring on the pajamas to loosen the waistband, batting away Kevin's feeble attempt to stop her.

“Wha' 'r you doin'?”

“Keeping you from concussing yourself, or breaking a leg.” Kate tugged the silk pajamas down Kevin's legs and off, grateful the young man was at least wearing boxers.

Fumbling with the hem of the pajama top with clumsy hands, Kevin tried to cover his boxer shorts. He attempted to glare at his boss, but wasn’t very intimidating in his current condition. “’Lexis is ri’ there. Castle’ll kill me.”

“I’m sure Alexis has seen a man in boxers before.” Kate stood and grabbed her junior partner’s hand to pull him to his feet. “C’mon Chicken Legs, time to get up.”

She ignored the man’s frown as she tugged him to a standing position, relatively speaking. Kevin would’ve toppled over if Alexis hadn’t lunged forward to grab his other arm when the detective’s legs buckled. A new layer of sweat broke out on Kevin’s face and he panted against the consequences of achieving verticality.

Between the two women, Kate and Alexis managed to half carry Kevin over to the sofa and let him drop down onto the soft leather in a graceless heap. Even sick and groaning in his misery, the Irish detective still managed to tug the pajama top down in embarrassment. Alexis stifled a giggle and went to retrieve the wonton soup container, just in case. Kevin took it from her with trembling hands and turned a disgruntled look on his boss.

“’S not chicken legs. “M jus’…wiry.”

Kate took the damp cloth Martha offered and smirked as she carefully wiped her partner’s face. “Sure, Ryan. If by wiry, you mean skinny.”

Bloodshot blue eyes had drifted closed in relief at the moist cool cloth, but Kevin still grimaced at her. “Not skinny, Beckett. ‘S lean muscle.”

Dropping the cloth into the bowl of water Martha had deposited onto the coffee table, Kate got down to business. Tapping Ryan’s cheek to get his attention, she waited for the watery blue eyes to focus on her. “What the hell happened, Kevin?”

It seemed to his audience of three to take a ridiculous amount of time for the usually bright detective to form his thoughts, but he finally began his explanation. “Castle ‘vited us over. Said he didn’t get a bachelor party, ‘n I didn’t have one either. Said we’d have one…just us three guys.”

When Kevin paused and seemed to lose his train of thought, Beckett sighed in annoyance and made a “get on with it” gesture with her hand. The inebriated detective redirected his scattered thoughts with a physical jerk. “Um, Javi ‘n me came over. We, uh, played video games. Laser tag. I get kinda fuzzy after the laser tag. There was lots of takeout. I think we dared each other stuff. Javi and Castle said whoever got drunk last had to pay for everything.”

Peering from one woman to the other, Kevin shrugged and grimaced. “It was a lot of food. And drinks. And I think caviar was there somewhere. I can’t pay for all that, so I…kinda got really, really drunk.” Giving Beckett an imploring look, Ryan grabbed her sleeve with a shaky hand. “Can you please shoot me? Tell Jenny and Sarah Grace I love them. But I’d like to die now.”

Laughing, Beckett removed her suffering partner’s hand from her sleeve and stood. “Alexis, can you stay with Ryan while your grandmother and I search for the other two?” At least Ryan was somewhat decent. Kate wouldn’t take odds on the other men being able to say the same. Alexis didn’t need that kind of mental scarring.

“Sure, Kate.” Sliding into Beckett’s vacated spot on the sofa next to Detective Ryan, Alexis winced in sympathy when the detective groaned in misery. “I hope Dad and Detective Esposito are in better shape.”

Hands braced on her hips, Kate narrowed her eyes. “If they are, they won’t be for long.”

Laughing quietly, Martha brushed her fiery red hair out of her eyes. “I’ll look upstairs, Katherine, if you’ll check down here.”

“Sounds like a plan, Martha. Yell if you need help if you find one of them.”

The two women went their separate ways, with Kate heading for the office first. She found the game controllers on the floor in front of the television, more empty beer bottles scattered around and tipped over. There was also a pair of shoes, two socks draped over the TV and a pair of discarded jeans. A quick check of the tag identified the size as Ryan’s. She found a long-sleeved tee on the desk in a size medium. Also Ryan’s. Beckett was fairly certain she didn’t want to know why her junior partner had apparently performed a strip-tease in the office. It explained why he was in borrowed pajamas. Sort of.

The master bedroom was a disaster. The sheets and duvet were a tangled mess, and pillows were strewn about on the floor and on the dresser. And there were feathers everywhere. Kate was almost certain a pillow fight had been involved. It was like a slumber party of 12-year-old boys had gotten out of hand. With an aggravated sigh, Beckett pushed open the door to the master bathroom and narrowed her eyes at the figure slumped against the side of the large Jacuzzi bathtub.

“Rick, what in the hell did you do this weekend?”

At Beckett’s loud angry query, Rick yelped and pressed the heels of his palms against his head. “Please, Kate. If you love me…whisper.”

“Do you have any idea the state we found Ryan in? He could’ve had alcohol poisoning!”

The noise seemed to pierce Rick’s brain and he pulled himself up far enough to lean over the side to empty his stomach into the tub. Kate made a moue of distaste and crossed her arms. “I’m not cleaning that.”

Finished…at least for the moment…Rick moaned and slid once more to the cold tiled floor. “Please, Kate. Let me die in peace. It won’t take long, I promise.”

“I’m sure you feel like you’re dying, but you’re not.” Kate leaned down to pull her husband to his unsteady feet. “And is there some reason why you’re wearing a table cloth as a toga?”

Groaning when the pounding in his head kicked up a notch once he was standing, Rick draped his arm across his wife’s narrow shoulders and swallowed his stomach back down. “I think there was some sort of dare involved. But, I’m not really sure.”

Quirking an eyebrow as she led Rick through the bedroom, Kate tightened her grip on her husband’s waist. “You wearing underwear under that?”

Rick wrinkled his brow in thought, his gaze drifting as he apparently took stock. “Yeah.”

“Good. I don’t want to scar your daughter.”

“You ladies have a good weekend?”

Although her husband was clearly hung over, Kate had to smile at his attempt to appear as if everything was under control. “Not as good as yours, apparently.”

Guiding Rick over to the sofa, she let him collapse onto the cushions with a moan and then checked her partner. Kevin had pulled his legs up close to his body, his head resting on the bent knees tucked up under the oversized pajama top. Only his toes peeped out from under the navy silk. His arms were wrapped around his shins, as if he was trying to hold everything together and Kate couldn’t resist taking a picture for blackmail purposes. Rick blinked at the moaning figure of his weekend housemate and pointed shakily.

“Hey, are those my pajamas?”

Arching an eyebrow, Kate smirked at him. “You’re wearing a table cloth. At least he managed to wear actual clothes.”

As Rick shrugged in acceptance of her statement, Ryan lifted his face from his knees and shot the writer a pleading look. “Please tell me I got drunk first. I don’t wanna feel this bad and still have to pay for everything.”

Twisting around in his seat so he could press his cheek against the cool leather of the sofa, Rick smiled weakly at the younger man. “Don’t worry, Kevin. I was never going to make you pay for everything. This weekend was my idea.”

“Seriously?” Running a shaky hand through his unruly hair, Ryan sighed and pressed down on his scalp. Maybe if he pushed hard enough, it would ease the pounding in his skull. “If I survive today, I will shoot you. No jury would convict me.”

Before Kate could retort that nobody was going to shoot her husband, Martha appeared at the top of the stairs. “Katherine, I found your missing partner. I’ll need a little help getting him downstairs. You might wish to bring those pajama bottoms you took from Detective Ryan.”

Rolling her eyes in annoyance, Beckett snatched up the silk bottoms and hurried up the stairs, following Martha down the hall to the upstairs restroom. As she stood a moment to take stock, Martha laughed quietly. “I took a picture. For blackmail purposes, naturally.”

Javier Esposito lay sprawled in the oversized tub, naked as the day he was born. “What in the world were they doing last night?”

Waving a manicured hand Martha dismissed the question as unimportant. “We should check the boys’ phones to see if they recorded anything over the weekend. In the meantime, we need to wake up your wayward partner.”

With an evil glint in her eyes, Beckett stepped to the edge of the tub and reached for the faucet knob. Once the icy cold blast of water from the shower head hit Esposito, he jerked and scrambled to sit up. “Stop! Stop! You’re killing me!”

Twisting the knob to turn off the water, Beckett smirked. “You’re lucky I don’t kill you for this stunt.” She reached into the cabinet over the toilet for a towel and dropped it over her partner’s head. “Dry off and I’ll help you climb out.”

Shivering, Javier grabbed the towel and seemed to realize he had an audience. And that he was naked. He quickly dropped the towel to cover his naughty bits and glared up at his boss. “D’you mind?”

“No, I don’t mind. It’s nothing either of us haven’t seen before, and we already got an eyeful. Just dry off and put these pajamas on. Make sure you roll up the pants cuffs, though. I don’t want you falling down the stairs.”

Much to the ex-military detective’s embarrassment, Esposito needed help just to make it to his feet. Once vertical, he snapped the shower curtain closed while he dried off. When finished, he stuck his hand out for the pajamas. Finally decent, he stepped out of the tub and let Beckett kneel down to roll up the cuffs. Javier was fairly certain he’d fall over if he bent down. When she finished, he let the two women help him make his way down the stairs. His legs felt like they were made of rubber and his stomach rolled, threatening to empty itself altogether. Luckily, he made it to the sofa without incident and sprawled in an ungainly heap between his two suffering friends.

“Castle, never again. Next time your family splits for the weekend, you’re on your own.” Rolling his head, Esposito got his first good look at his partner. Ryan was pale and sweating, feebly pushing away the water bottle that Alexis kept trying to get him to take. “Ryan, drink the damn water. I’ll force you to, if I have to.” 

At Ryan’s raised eyebrows and look of disbelief, Esposito sighed and amended his statement. “Fine, drink it or I’ll get Beckett to force you to.”

One look at Beckett’s crossed arms and angry scowl had Ryan meekly accepting the cold bottle and he took a few hesitant sips, waiting to see if he could keep it down before drinking more. Esposito scrubbed his palms over his face, feeling the rasp of a three-day beard. Man, how much had they actually had to drink over the weekend? Lowering his hands, he shot his boss a puzzled look.

“Wait, is it Sunday afternoon already?”

“Yep,” Beckett agreed. “I take it that you’re a little sketchy on some things.”

“The last thing I clearly remember was tequila shots and pizza. That was about 2 o’clock this morning.” Sitting up to brace his elbows on his knees, Esposito turned and eyed Castle with a frown. “Bro, why are you wearing a…is that a tablecloth?”

Rick rubbed at his pounding head and concentrated. “I think I lost a bet during Call of Duty.” Peering around the Hispanic detective, he grinned. “I think that’s why Kevin did his little strip tease. He lost a bet, too.” Realizing that Esposito must have been found nude for them to need to borrow the pajama bottoms, the writer smirked. “I have no idea, though, why you were found in your birthday suit. I can only hope someone took pictures.”

“Speaking of.” Kate pulled her cell phone out and pushed speed dial one, listening for a ring. “I think we need to find your phones. Martha, care to help?”

While the two older women searched the loft for the men’s missing cell phones, Alexis smiled and retrieved water bottles for her father and Detective Esposito. All three men needed to rehydrate after their ridiculous bender. Detective Ryan was still slowly nursing his water, never releasing his death grip on the plastic bucket.

All three had managed to finish one bottle and were working on their second by the time Martha and Kate returned. Beckett waved two cell phones in triumph, while Martha held the third. As the three suffering men eyed her warily, Kate chuckled. She handed each man his own phone, her smile taking on a mischievous appearance. 

“We made sure we went through photos and videos on each of your phones, and forwarded the good stuff to my email.” Crossing her arms, Beckett smirked. “Congrats, boys. You are all my slaves, now. I have enough blackmail material to last for months.”

All three men groaned and one-by-one slumped back against the sofa. Ryan covered his mouth to try to keep his water down; Espo slid his hands over his temples to brace his palms against his ears to dim the noisy chatter; and Castle covered his face with his hands and moaned softly. 

The three women laughed at the sight, as the boys had unwittingly managed a perfect imitation of “Monkey no speak, monkey no hear, monkey no see.” As much as the men in question could try her patience, Beckett wouldn’t trade her three monkeys for anything in the world.

END


End file.
